It has been a really rough week. I know that the time is drawing closer and it's just breaking my heart. I am not ready to let go of my baby boy. I can't pick my daughter up from school without bawling my eyes out. I read a Hallmark card a couple of days ago and afterwards, I just laid in bed in my husband's arms and cried. I've been such an emotional wreck.
My dear husband called our local Dr and asked if there was safe medication that I could take to help. They prescribed Zoloft, which has been proven to cause septal heart problems in the infant when taken during the second half of pregnancy. I'm not taking that...are they crazy? Regardless of what they think of our baby's prognosis, they need to treat this pregnancy like any other pregnancy. If they wouldn't prescribe that to a pregnant woman whose baby has no known problems, then why would they prescribe that to me??? Just because our baby has a fatal anomaly does not make it justifiable. He is still our beautiful baby.
I am compiling a musical selection to be played at Kolton's funeral. It's very challenging not to break down. I wish I could find the song that I wanted the most. I will carry you- Selah.