Imagine a love so strong that saying hello and goodbye at the same time was worth the sorrow.

February 29, 2012

One Step Closer

Thank you for visiting my dreams last night!! 
I don't know where we were but you were in a little robe and you walked up to me and I kneeled down and pulled you into my arms. You said, "Can you come with me, please." I was holding you and crying. I said, "No, baby, I can't right now." A voice inside my head was screaming, "I'm supposed to be with you and be your Mom!". I held you for so long and cried. I wasn't going to let you go, but I woke up. 
My heart is in my throat as I try to hold back tears while I write this. I want to be with you so badly and I hope that you don't feel that I don't want to be. I will be with you when my time comes though sweetheart and it will feel like we were never apart. I love you so much and I would give anything to have you back here with us. 
I want to be able to watch you grow up, watch your sister be so protective over you and watch you and her fight little fights when you get bigger and a mind of your own =) I want to watch you plays games with your Daddy. I want to know what music you would listen to. I want to hang onto you and never let you go. But, I do want you to grow up and go to school and find a job that you love and find your love and ask her to marry you. I want to see how eager you are as you wait for your lovely bride to walk down that aisle towards you. I want to see your beautiful life come together. I want to anticipate the arrival of your babies and smile with love at the thought of being a grandma. I want so much. I want our family back to how it should be. I want you here with us. I know that you can't be and that's the hardest part. 
I miss you so much, my love. Please come see me today.
In my dream- you brought a book up to me to read to you. =) 
Kolton, I am always with you as you are always with me. ♥

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